As depicted in the above photo, I got married in December, to the Pilot, a young man who has on occasion featured in this blog. After months of planning and a lot of help (especially from Mum) the day was an absolute hit. We had a wonderful time and only had a couple of moments of freaking out. It was an incredibly emotional experience.
I didn’t blog much while I was engaged, but I wrote a lot: mostly half-formed thoughts and ideas about what marriage meant, what engagement was like, and the nature of liminality. Blogger Sarah Bessey says that it’s better to write from a healed scar than an open wound. And although that connotes negative experiences, and engagement was on the whole positive, it’s the philosophy that lead me to save those thoughts on my hard drive until I could edit them with objective distance.
That objective distance will come in the next few months I expect, and then my Thursdays will be full of philosophy on the state of being pre-married. But for now, I will say this. I thought that being engaged to the person I love most would be a solely ecstatic experience. I assumed that once we were locked in I would feel secure in the relationship. But it was one of the most stressful times of my life, full of social pressure, emotional upheaval and intense discussion. However — if you’ll forgive a sentence full of cliches — I would do it all again, because engagement was the time when we built the foundations on which we now travel.
Did I say travel? Yes, I believe I did. More on that next week.