I have been inspired by Nadia Eghbal to continue my re-induction into the world of blogging with some brief thoughts.
1. This year is like an old banana that is not quite rotting, but you don’t have time to make banana bread right now, so you pop it in the freezer for later. Except that’s where the analogy breaks down (much like the structural integrity of the banana) because the year is racing to a close and you can’t freeze time! (Okay, I said I would write some thoughts. I didn’t say they would be coherent or intelligent).
2. I am concerned that being in a relationship is making me a boring writer. I am discovering all these things that I think are amazing and wonderful, but that’s probably because I’m discovering them for the first time, where they have actually been written about ad nauseum, for the last however long it’s been since people started writing things down. So I’ve been writing about stuff, but most of it will probably never see the light of day.
3. Also about being in a relationship and nausea, this fictional couple are intensely vomit-inducing. Their love seems to be modelled on the High Fidelity idea that taste is supreme; it is what you like that matters, not what you are like. How long can that kind of thing last? And am I really any different? How can I claim my relationship is deeper than that?
4. I have been straining under the weight of academic pressure, so I am considering my other career paths. Not that I plan to throw my academic career in the creek; just that I don’t want to plough through and start a PhD when I’ve finished Honours. Lately I have been thinking about a potential career in Sex Education. Particularly, I want to educate young people on how good consent actually works. Consent as a concept, like all good things, has been twisted in certain circles, to the point that it can mean its exact opposite. Like selling the idea of consent as “sexy”, which was a thing when I was at Melbourne Uni. This is a bit weird but harmless, unless it’s used in sentences such as, “I think it would be really sexy if you consented to taking your top off”, which is actually its own kind of pressure. That’s not my story by the way; just an anecdotal example. When I was in school, the only thing I learned about consent is “no means no” which left me completely ill-equipped for the complexity of real-life relationships.
5. Darren Wilson, the police officer who shot Michael Brown was not convicted. Even though I watched this video by a black woman in my Youtube subscriptions, it took a white Youtuber’s video for me to confront the issue. That video affected me deeply, but I still don’t know how to be an ally, because whatever empathy I have and righteous anger against the corrupt justice system, I can’t actually feel it like these black women do. Also, I feel like there was an air of superiority around the time the news came out of the grand jury result, of “Oh America. Only in America. It’s so terrible.” But as one of my friends pointed out on Facebook, we can’t afford to feel superior when no officer has ever been convicted for an Aboriginal person dying in custody. And there have been a lot of Aboriginal people who have died in custody. Enough that there was a Royal Commission into it in the late 1980s. But Australia is still racist enough to have no actually done anything about it.