Usually the over-communicator, especially on the internet, I feel I have let my social network down. “Are you going to do weekly emails?” more than one person asked as I hugged them goodbye.
“No, I’ve upgraded. I’ve got a website now. It’s all professional and shit. I’ll be putting stuff there.”
But I’ve been gone for more than two weeks and barely a peep has emerged.
There are two problems:
I developed this strange idea that I might get paid for my writing.
I pitched some places, and people were interested in publishing my writing on Arnhem Land. The problem is, now I feel like if I write about stuff here, I won’t have any ideas left for that ‘real’ writing.
So why haven’t I been writing my usual bloggy stuff? Well, every time I get an idea for a blog post, I think ‘No, that would make a good article, I should pitch it somewhere!’ Even if I don’t get paid, it will reach a broader audience. Then I might write it or I might not, and if I do write it, I probably won’t get around to finishing/editing it. If I do, it will just sit there because I’m either too scared to submit it or I don’t know what the right audience is.
Casual blogging was so much easier. I would get an idea, usually when I was trying to work on something else, and then I’d smash out 1000+ words, proof-read it briefly, and hit publish. My family would read and enjoy it at least, and that would be enough.
This whole trying to be professional thing is a bit painful. I need to find some balance between raw, unedited work, and work that never leaves my hard drive because of stage fright.
The other problem is a bit smaller. I keep getting this message that a blog must be focussed. People must know what it is about, instantly and obviously, or they won’t want to keep reading. But I’m not into themes. I just want it to be me, and whatever comes out of that: Asperger’s, Arnhem Land, Crochet, Christian life, etc. I can’t write a blog on just one of those things. I don’t have enough material, and plus I would get bored.
So can I bust out of the internet rules and do a metaphorical hippie dance on this website?
I’ll be back with more updates soon. Glad we could have this chat.